14. Noisome Shabby Rubbish: No Straight Roads

 No Straight Roads is a game I first played some time ago. I initially picked it up cheap, but only had a short attempt at before dropping it due to a frustrating difficulty and mechanics very early in the game. Shortly after, I had the chance to trade it in for more than I paid for it! Fantastic! I got to try a game, found out it wasn't for me, and effectively sold it for more than I paid! I'd be an idiot to buy it again.

So I bought it again, obviously.

No Straight Roads is a game in one of my favorite genres, the rhythm music game. A genre I avoided in my youth, in my early 20s through the power of anime I was introduced to Dance Dance Revolution. For years I assumed I would neither enjoy nor be good at it, but once I did try it out I found out I was closer to mediocre. But, it was fun. Next, and once again via the power of anime, I imported the game "Osu! Takate! Oendan!!" This game features a team of male cheerleaders who motivate people through hard times in their lives by dancing and yelling to songs from a variety of genres. As a DS game, of course the gameplay used the touchscreen, but unlike those I have reviewed here, it was extremely well implemented. You tap and slide the stylus over the screen in time with the song, and if you don't make too many mistakes, you pass. This game was westernised a year later as the fantastic "Elite Beat Agents", which has forever changed "You're My Inspiration" by Chicago into a song I cannot listen to without tearing up.

If you know, you know.

Finally, I would be remiss to not mention my most recent rhythm game obsession, Sayonara Wild Hearts. Considered as much a playable album as a game, it's a wonderful exploration of the various stages of grief at the end of a relationship and moving on. At least, I think that was it is about.

When the opportunity came up to get No Straight Roads again cheaply I took it, hoping that my first impression had just been a bad one. Perhaps I'd encountered an odd glitch, or had just tried to play it while tired, which is never a good idea for a rhythm game. Unfortunately, the game had even more issues in store then my short first attempt had revealed.

Firstly, the positives. No Straight Roads has fantastic character design. For instance, the two main characters, Mayday and Zuke, have designs that very effectively communicate their personalities. Mayday is impulsive and brash, while Zuke is calm and reserved.

Also there's an alligator for some reason?

This design carries over to the antagonists as well, each of whom plays a different style of music and sports a design that reflects it. This is particularly present during their boss encounters, where the levels are built around their design and musical style. It should also be noted that the voice work in particular is fantastic. All dialogue is voiced, and each character is performed in their own unique way, not just with different accents, but affectations that suit each character.

The story is exactly what you've probably guessed. You see, in the near future, Electronic Dance Music (EDM) has taken over as the source of power in Vinyl City, with Rock Music is no longer in favour. Our plucky antagonist wants to prove that the music that inspires her most, Rock, still has it, but is denied her big break by a shady corrupt organisation of EDM musicians, the titular No Straight Roads. The usual "new style has music has pushed rock out of the public eye" story seen in more than a few movies, best exemplified in Josie and the Pussy Cats. Which rules.

The gameplay is what really lets this game down. The typical gameplay loop is quite simple:

1. Mayday and Zuke are briefed on the next character they will be taking on next
2. Mayday and Zuke explore a small but expanding city to find the start of the next boss encounter
3. A series of platforming and battle challenges
4. The boss encounter

Unfortunately, with the exception of the briefing, each of these sections have significant technical and design problems. And the briefing is little more than a fancy menu, so it isn't exactly a huge achievement.

First, the exploration. After you complete a boss challenge, you can explore a section of the city that they used to control, that is added on to the city you already have available. In each section there are a series of collectables that can be used to power up various utilities in the city. Doing this grants a small boost of experience. And that is unfortunately it. There's no secrets hidden away that have any material impact on the game or the story. The exploration itself is very simplistic too, with barely any actual challenge involved in navigation. It very much comes across as padding, which is not surprising given how short the game ends up being. It also performs pretty poorly on the switch.

Awful framerate and terrible pop-in, together at last!

The city is effectively one long corridor. New zones are simply added on to the end of the previous one. The map could have been made a lot more interesting if these new areas

However, the roughest part of this game is the platforming sections that comes next. This section has a fixed camera behind the character as they first jump between floating platforms until they reach group of enemies. And thus, begins, the combat.

Sigh.

The combat in this game is atrocious. In the platforming section, enemies are robots that attack on the beat of the music. Each character has a single main attack that can be strung into a 3 or 5 hit combo. This attack never does enough damage to defeat an enemy in a single combo, so you need to dodge away from the enemy before re-engaging to continue. Unfortunately, the hit detection is some of the worst I have ever encountered, with enemy attacks extending far beyond what is visible.

Excuse me???

And yet, your attack seems to be shorter range than the visual effect appears. As you play you collect ammunition for a long range attack, but this can only be used on specific enemies. You can eventually unlock additional attacks, but even these are rarely useful and require an awkward charge-up that leaves you vulnerable to attack.

For a rhythm game, everything needs to be clearly communicated and responsive. However, certain actions do not always trigger. Attacks often come from off-screen, making them impossible to see coming - and don't forget, the camera is fixed, so you can't remedy this.

The boss battles use the same combat mechanics, but at least have the benefit of having the featured antagonist and their music. For example, DJ Atomica, the first boss, who you fight in a Planetarium.

This is the good part of the game.

The bosses are all dealt with in several phases, with each having a specific means to attack them that you need to figure out. However, it ends up relying on the same awful battle mechanics. Even worse, some boss attacks become an instant kill as they hit the character mutliple times and there is no invincibility after being hit!

In the end, I cannot recommend playing this game at all. While it does have some fun characters and writing, the gameplay is such a huge letdown compared to what it could have been, and the boss battles, while often a spectacle, are frustrating to complete. If you are curious, maybe watch a let's play. But I'd recommend playing Sayonara Wild Hearts followed by watching Josie and the Pussycats.

On heck of a double bill

My next game is Pokemon Diamond. Surely this will not let me down.

Right?