7. Wario joins the turtle club: Wario Master of Disguise

I went into this game with very low expectations. On top of the fact I had understood this to be considered the worst of the Wario platformers, the back of the box gave me no reason to doubt this reputation

Oof, that's a lot of touch screen based control, which based on the last 2 games does not give me much hope!

Wario was first introduced to the world as the villain in Mario Land 2 (which by the way, is fantastic). He was created to be the anti-Mario, amusing as a protest by the games creators who did not want to be making a Mario game. Wario is a weird, greedy, gross man obsessed with gold and garlic. Rather via agility, he accomplishes tasks via brute force.

My history with the Wario games to this date is both limited and extensive - as there are primarily 2 different types of Wario games. The traditional Wario games, which started on the gameboy as a spinoff of the Mario Land games. I have only fully played the first of these 2D platformers, but have dipped my toe into others. The fun of these comes from the sheer brutality with which Wario plays. Most enemies simply bounce of him as he runs around with a manic smile, snatching up every coin he can, destroying things with a shoulder charge.

He keeps this grin on his face the entire game. It's great.

The other Wario games, of which I am more familiar, are the WarioWare games. WarioWare is the rare example of a game focused on minigames that is actually good. WarioWare leans into the weird and manic aspects of Wario. Each minigame is presented to the player randomly, from which they must quickly grasp how to play and achieve the goal fast, before the ever decreasing timer ends and the next minigame is presented. WarioWare games started on the GameBoy Advance and have been on every Nintendo system since. Slice some fruit! Pick a nose! Eat a sandwich!

Why Wario is more relatable than Mario: Exhibit A

Wario Master of Disguise turns out to be an attempt to merge both of these game styles, with a bit of Metroidvania thrown in. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the game, this just ends up compromising what makes each of these types of games good.

Master of Disguise is presented primarily as a 2D platformer. Being a DS game, there is a lot more possible than with the even more limited resolution and colours of the GameBoy and GameBoy Advance. Unfortunately, the art style adopted loses a lot of the character of these early games. Take, for instance, the background in exterior sections of the first world.

He, uh.... dabs. But this is from 2007, so I guess Wario invented it?

Wario games I had played to this point had very little story, and made sure you got to gameplay as soon as possible. Master of Disguise, however, takes 8 minutes to get to a point where Wario is actually controllable, and even more surprisingly, a further 11 minutes before the first enemy is encountered.

This game is played with one hand controlling Wario via the D pad, jump with the shoulder button, and all other inputs via the stylus in the other. In other Wario platformers, Wario has access to various costumes that grant different abilities. In Master of Disguise, however, costumes are changed by drawing various shapes on the touch screen on Wario. Costume specific abilities are activated with the touch screen also. All of this combines to make a somewhat clunky control system, with levels that seem to be compensating for this by having very few actual obstacles in the level that require much in the way of finesse. There are very few enemies, and instead the challenge comes from navigation.

Box-based puzzles? Oh, you better believe it.

The other part of this game is not as significant a part of the game, but is still worth mention. Whenever you attempt to open a treasure box, the gameplay shifts to a touch-screen based mini game. These games are more involved than any WarioWare game, and take far longer to complete.

Connect the dots

Both these styles of gameplay lack the manic nature and weirdness of either of the games series they draw from. It's clear that what was attempted in this game was not necessarily a bad idea, but unfortunately what was delivered just doesn't match the fun of either of the two series being merged.

I completed my hour part of the way through the second level, which via a new costume had some very rudimentary metroidvania design. But much like a bad metroidvania game, the areas that can be accessed once the new costume was available was very badly telegraphed.

I will give this game one thing though: the concept art for the various costumes Wario can don totally owns.

Give me a game with THIS art style, Nintendo!

Well, another game down. Just 3 more until I earn the Good Wine. Unfortunately, the next game, Paper Mario Colour Splash has a reputation for unnecessary touch screen nonsense, which will make it four games in a row where that is a central issue. However, I am sure to at least have a better time with it, as it is probably the game that the Toad with Hats Defence Force got most mad at.